The lead from a Fox story this morning:

SEOUL, South Korea — North Korea threatened South Korea with destruction Sunday after Seoul’s top military officer said it would consider attacking the communist nation if it tried to carry out a nuclear attack.

For all of their bluster and human-rights violations, the North Koreans do occasionally provide some entertainment, this time by saying the equivalent of “We will destroy you for attacking us after we try to destroy you.”A post-announcement evil laugh would have been icing on the cake, but I suspect most North Koreans lack from mass starvation the resonance vis a vis body mass needed to produce a Dracula-style chortle, though an “also your mom’s fat!” would have been a suitable substitute.

In a related but somewhat overlooked story, Kim, saying, “I’ve never before seen such redundancy and obviously ridiculous syntax, even for non-native English speakers…come on guys you’re not even trying,” executed all members of the Korean Central News agency. We suspect the mass-slaying came after the dictator read sections of the agency’s Sunday comments on South Korea, such as, “Everything will be in ashes, not just a sea of fire, if our advanced pre-emptive strike once begins.” Yes, for those of you out there wondering, ashes are scarier than fire and advanced preemption differs from regular preemption…somehow…if their strike once begins…

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